The 10 Stages Of Drunkenness
1. The First Sip – Ah, that first sip of beer.
2. The Buzz – ALRIGHT! Let’s pound some shots!
3. The Best Friend / Worst Friend – (and for no particular reason except a mental coin flip) you’re either saying “I love you man!” or “I fucking hate your face, why did you bang my ex girlfriend six years ago?! Asshole, let’s fight!” Which leads to #4.
4. The Let’s Spend ALL The Money – Drinks are flowing and you’re buying all your friends a round, even that person you just wanted to fight.
5. The Dancing – The finest grinding, shimmying and shaking anyone has ever seen…or so you think.
6. The Shark – Searching for prey for the night.
7. The Party Monster – I can’t even taste the alcohol, bro!
8. The Hunger – ALL OF THE PIZZA / CHIPS / CAKE / CHEESE STEAK / WAWA.
9. The Downward Spiral – I’m fine… I’m fine. Just leave me alone, I just gotta….Ugh.” *resume vomiting*
10. The I’m Never Drinking Again – You swear it will never happen again…but see stage #1 next weekend.