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Cowabunga: A Ninja Turtle Party 5/23/16

“COWABUNGA MAHFUCKERS!!!” the DJ yelled to those of us on the dance floor. We were at the Trilogy Nightclub and Hookah Lounge for COWABUNGA: Presented by Good Vibes Promo, Light It Up Productions, & DSM. It was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Themed event, and of course Sweet T and I neglected to wear our TMNT gear.

The night was stirring up and more and more people were showing up. We sat down at the bar and Sweet T and I placed our typical Friday night order: two City Wide Specials and two glasses of ice water. You gotta stay hydrated, folks. Down the hatch with one, wash it down with the other two. As we were each taking a hefty swig from our PBRs, we were approached by Vera Record’s Chris Wilk.

“So, what do you guys think?” he asked.

Several young women dressed in their Ninja Turtle best came strolling by us. Something about girls in tight green shorts and yellow shirts with backpacks on is just pleasing to the eye.

“I think we’re gunna be alright,” I replied.

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The Trilogy was unlike any place I’ve been to before. The second and third floors were decked out with music by some of DSM, Light It Up, and Good Vibe’s finest spin-men. Both floors were equally packed with ravers on the half-shell who were dancing to the eerily similar intonations of the DJ spinning on either floor. EDM can be beautiful in the way that the genre is so eclectic and each artist can sound so similar or different from another.

After finishing up a beer and a smoke (which we luxuriously smoked inside the establishment’s second floor) we decided to check out the upstairs. The upstairs (deemed THE SECRET LAIR) was tittering with all sorts of ravers and mutated turtle enthusiasts. We approached the bar and ordered another City Wide.

“Who wants some bad advice? Get your bad advice here!” a friendly voice was calling from just to our left.

A man stood behind a small cardboard booth with the words BAD ADVICE BOOTH written on the side. Terrible snippets of legal and social advice were written on the booth’s banner.

“Roc! Tee! Come get some bad advice from your boy,” he said, pulling us each in for a big wet kiss on the cheek.

“Alright,” I said, wiping my face, “bad advice, huh? So, tell me, how should I ask Sweet T to marry me?”

“Ahh! This is an easy one. Take her to a strip club, and put the ring between the boobs of the biggest, fattest, raunchiest stripper in the joint, and have the stripper give Sweet T a good ol’ fashioned motorboat. The stripper will shove her tig ol’ bitties in Sweet T’s face, the ring will fall out, and when the stripper moves you’ll be there on one knee.”

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I blinked at him.

“Wow,” I said, “That’s some bad advice.”

“I told ya,”

“Yeah I’m not gunna do any of that.”

“Suit yourself!”

As he gave other young turtles terrible advice for free, I decided to try my hand at the Invade the Secret Lair cornhole game. An old favorite of everyone ever, the game is simple; TMNT baddies Crang and Shredder were painted on a piece of plywood, each with a hole in the maw of their faces. It was my job to destroy them by throwing small colored tennis balls in through the hole. It was the only way to protect the secret lair.

I looked to my left and saw Sweet T munching a slice of pizza and throwing darts at a wall of balloons and TMNT villains. Girls in turtle outfits were spinning hula hoops and shaking their asses to the earth shattering beats. I needed another drink.

After downing another shot and washing it down with a Red Bull, I was shaking my ass as well. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed. I still regret not dressing up for the occasion. At least I was sweating along with everyone else though. I checked the time. I couldn’t believe it; it was almost 1:00 am. We’d been here shaking butts and playing games with these creatures of the night for almost three hours! Time flies when you’re pretending to be a Ninja Turtle.

I stopped at the vendor stand (courtesy of Light It Up Productions) set up in the Lair to check out their array of light-up products and rave wares. Gloves with lights in the fingertips, light up glasses and mouth pieces, and glowing, pulsing toys of all kinds were displayed on the table for us to gander at. I grabbed some finger-lights and headed back onto the dance floor.

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“Sir, you have an excellent mustache, but you’re not dressed as a turtle…” I told a raver in a Guy Fawkes mask as I shook my sweat soaked hair and wiggled my now lit-up fingers in rhythm with the beat.

“Why thank you! Watch out for that hula hoop!”

“Ahhhh!” I just barely dodged a stray hoop tossed by an extremely energetic Donatello and helped her retrieve it from the ground. She could REALLY work that thing!

Sweet T and I continued to munch pizza, hang with master splinter, and sweat profusely to the manic, pulsing beats that each DJ pumped out. By the end of the night, there were so many turtles and characters of all sorts that I was beginning to think that I had wandered into the very sewers where the Ninja Turtles were born. And all this while DSM pumped the party full of pizza. Turtle Power indeed.

The bottom line:
They kept us entertained and turning our heads into the late hours of the night. The party didn’t stop till 3:30am because of Trilogy’s late-night closing time. The dancing and the music was only part of the fun though. With activities and games, light up toys, jewelry, and FREE PIZZA in addition to the sights and sounds, the DSM, Light It Up and Good Vibes crews kept their patrons feeling radical all night long.

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