“What’s with the name? I don’t know, but the first rule of dress code is you must be 21.”
Clutch and I debated on where to go. The regular spots were tapped. A change of pace was desperately needed, the American Dream had begun to catch up to us. We needed to find something older, uglier, and a little awkward to balance life out.
Like any good friend, I made a motion to have Clutch’s girlfriend, Selena Bromez, be our DD and chaperone. This should keep trouble to a minimum. Clutch seconded the motion, we were finally off to a good start. Our first stop was to get JB, maybe he would know where to go.
Confused and disgruntled the conversation shot around the car:
Selena: What’s that we just drove past?
Me: Pete’s pub, WAIT! What about Devil’s Den!?
JB: That’s in Philly. And I didn’t even notice Pete’s pub, it doesn’t even register on the drinking scale.
Me: Selena what’s in the box?
Selena: It’s Rock’em Sock’em Robots.
JB: HOLY SHIT THATS PERFECT. Let’s go to Shady Katies.
The car groaned as we pulled up the parking lot hill. Shady Katies is a strategic fortress. A large wooden patio is positioned in the front to survey the land and the hill acts as a natural defense. It’s easy to push drunks downhill and prevents zombies from easily attacking. Clever indeed.
We strolled to the front door. We were greeted by an ugly sign on the roof that reads: “DRESS CODE RULES: RULE 1. MUST BE 21 TO ENTER.” I had to agree, the first rule of dress code is you must be 21. I think we found our place.
Clutch and JB immediately wanted to get a drink. Two bouncers stopped us with smiles at the door. What were they smiling at? It was unsettling, bouncers never smile. On this night there was a cover band called the Blackhorse Band. “7 dollars each!” said the bouncer. “That’s a hell of a random number,” JB quickly retorted. The bouncers both laughed and nodded in agreement. At least it included a free drink. You never turn down a free drink.
We were once again stopped on our quest to order a drink. A hippie metal head greeted us with handshakes then returned to his serious dance moves. Step, step, turn around, clap your hands. It was quickly apparent that an older crowd reigned here, at least it wasn’t geriatric care. In the corner, two older women were braiding each others hair. A middle aged man strolled by in a white bedazzled button-up shirt. Another wore a button-up with a dead bird on the front. Where the hell were we. The older women wore pushup bras and tight jeans and the only young people in the place wore frumpy over-sized clothing.
Suddenly I was distracted. She was out of place. A beautiful girl in knee high stockings and a plaid skirt walked by. What just happened? This makes less sense then the metal hippie guy. JB interrupted my stares, “Bro, she’s from Dublin Square, we need to go there.” Why the hell weren’t we there now!? At least we know where to go next week. We ordered up. 2 dollar Coors lights. In fact most beers were 2 to 3 dollars. Solid price though for a minute I missed my Pabst Blue Ribbon.
The cover band raged in the background playing Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Kiss, and Van Halen songs. I was impressed, thankful even. Most local cover bands are awful where one really white guy pretends to be a rapper and another middle aged guy acts like he’s in a boy band. The poor drummer gets no credit and tirelessly plays one dreadful song after another. These guys however nailed every tune. JB turned to Selena Bromez. “CHECK THAT OUT!! The guy in the band has 80’s Bon Jovi bangs just like you, if not better!!” JB promptly got smacked in the face by Selena.
Metal hippie guy returned to talk to Clutch and JB. “Hey fellows. I was at the bar and some girls asked me to take a shot. I don’t normally drink but the things I do for women! Except sky dive, I wouldn’t do that even if Sarah Michelle Gellar asked,” he said while covering his face with one hand. With that he turned and walked away. JB and Clutch looked less confused then they had all night and returned to their beers.
The bottom line:
|Hours: 11 a.m. – 2 a.m.
Music: DJs | Live
|Price range: $$
Accepts Credit Cards: Yes
|Dance floor: Yes
Outdoor area: Yes
Coat check: No
This place is an older crowd. If you feel the urge to escape and hear some good music while having a few cheap beers then this is a decent choice. They serve typical bar food and something is always on special. There’s plenty of space including a nice out door patio. Everyone including the bartenders and bouncers are friendly. Maybe it’s because we’re used to our normal dives, but it’s a nice change of pace and makes you really figure out what you want from life.
814 S White Horse Pike Somerdale, NJ 08083-1248