I sat on the edge of my seat, somewhat in anticipation, somewhat in withdrawal. The previous night we had reenacted the discovery of alcohol by consuming large quantities in scientific pursuit. Research is still pending.

Kingpin sat in the chair in front of me as a scantily clad Asha Lo seductively swung her hips around a hula hoop and chugged a beer, all while standing on one leg.

“Jesus, man. My head. My heart. Everything hurts,” I muttered to Kingpin. He reached under his chair and handed me container full of rum soaked cherries.

“Take two of these, they will help,” he said affirmatively, like a turn-of-the-century doctor prescribing Heroin for headaches.

It was hard not to trust the man. He was dressed in a white dirty undershirt, blue sweat pants and green flip flops. I was hesitant to mention a gold chain might be needed to complete his costume, but the thought fled as one of the evening’s performers appeared with one.

“PERFECT!!” she squealed as she placed it around his neck and ran off. The transformation was complete. Kingpin had transformed into the one and only Carl Brutananadilewski from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

I did the only sane thing a person with a hangover could do and ordered a large beer, preparing myself for an evening of Adult Swim antics.

Our host for the evening was the only and only Space Ghost (Cubby Altobelli) who tormented a green painted, voice perfected Zorak (Tommy Toonz) throughout the night.

The evening flew by with incredibly delivered acts based on the Adult Swim shows Squidbillies, METALOCALYPSE, Harvey Birdman, Sealab 2021, Home Movies, Superjail!, Morel Orel and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The biggest surprise of the evening came when Schoolly D himself made an appearance and performed the opening theme song from Aqua Teen.

I sat there enthralled, gazing at Hattie Harlowe, Fem Appeal, Liberty Rose, Büm Büm Kapau, Scarlett Storm, Hayley Jane, Brettzo and Tasker Morris as they produced the quickest hangover remedy imaginable. The beautiful faces, hysterical acts and above all the amazing attention to detail combined itself into an unforgettable night for not only Zamzuki and I, but everyone in the room as applause and cheering broke out after the finale.

The bottom line:
If you haven’t been to a TBA CON yet you need to attend the next one immediately. They are by far some of the most fun and unique burlesque shows we’ve EVER attended in Philadelphia. Check out the photos here to get an understanding of what you’ve been missing out on!

TBA Con IV: Wrestlesque Saturday, November 22nd at 9:00 p.m. at PhilaMOCA.

Miss Rose’s Sexploitation Follies presents: TREY PARKER & MATT STONE vs. MIKE JUDGE Burlesque is Saturday, August 23rd at 9:00 at PhilaMOCA.